Said the attractive women, giggling with her friends that think its a real riot going into a lingerie store.
(Hey, just some Lingerie Store etiquette. I work here, I care about this store. Please don’t say things like “Eww! Who would wear that?! Gross!” It makes me automatically not like you. In fact, it makes me hate you.
You aren’t being daring and provocative. You are not Carrie or Samantha.
You are a grown up in a Lingerie Store. Fucking act like it)
“So what size is it really?” The women asked me again. I looked at the tag.
“Its a 38H”
“THAT’S the real size?”
The women dissolve into laughter.
“What does H come after? DDDDDD?”
“No. It comes after a G cup. G is actually our most common size.”
The women are now dumbfounded.
“Ive never heard of a G cup.”
Well of course you haven’t lady. Because you are obviously not a G cup. And for some reason that gives you license to have a good chuckle over someone else’s body.
I do not say this. I say
“Probably not. Most department stores only go up to a D cup. When they size you, they size you to their stock. They are there to sell you something out of their stock. So you may very well be a G, but they put you in a D, because thats what they sell.”
(I say this about 20 times a day. Sometimes to obnoxiously dumb people, and sometimes to a sobbing women who doesn’t want to believe a 40G fit her.)
The women lets out a nervous laugh.
“Why don’t they just get a reduction?”
Why don’t you go fuck yourself?
No, I don’t say that. What I do tell them is, its difficult to get many necessary surgeries covered by insurance. It is even harder to get insurance to cover some thing they fell is not life threatening. The insurance considered it “Cosmetic”
(I have heard some real horror stories. One of my favorite customers told me about standing in a room, as a board of all men told her that her L cup breasts did not obstruct her motion enough to have them removed)
It could be that I’m a little ball of misery today. My nose is stuffed, and my throat hurts. I always seem to be sick.
It could be that, or it could be that I am so fucking sick of people trying to have a a laugh at some one else’s expense. There are no “real sizes” It either fits you or doesn’t. So the next time you see a size that looks weird, What should you say?
Put it it down.